When spouses separate a number of issues arise that affect children, relationships, health (both physical and psychosocial), finances and a sense of well-being and security. While some spouses separate in an amicable way, many others struggle with conflict. What is important is that services are in place that are designed to help families resolve conflict and provide support through a very painful transition. Protecting children from conflict should be the highest priority in seeking out solutions.
For many it is normal to experience hurt, bitterness, denial and even fear. Unfortunately, this often leads to impaired judgment. When your judgement is impaired, irrational decisions often lead to protracted conflict and pain. Family doctors, counsellors, mediators, family law lawyers and even friends and family can provide support to get you through one of the most difficult times in your life. While family and friends can be a great support, it is important to understand their limitations. Trained professionals should be sought out when addressing issues requiring specific expertise, such as medical, psychosocial, legal and financial.
When a relationship breaks down, what follows has been compared with the death of a loved one. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and ultimately acceptance are the stages one goes through when experiencing the loss of a loved one, whether through death or as is often the case, through separation and divorce. As one goes through these stages, support is needed in a number of areas. Depending on each individual circumstance, the priority of issues as to: medical, safety, financial, psychosocial and legal, varies from person to person.
This site promotes a solution-focused approach to resolving family conflict in the context of separation and divorce. Information is critical to understanding conflict resolution. This site is designed to provide information and links to resources that will assist you in finding practical solutions and healing from the pain of loss. To learn more about the motivation, intentions and creator of this site, please visit the About Wil Doran page, but before you do, one last word…
The starting point for most people should not be the adversarial court process. While huge strides have been made over the years to improve access to justice for families, the court process, for most, should be the last place to find solutions to conflict. For some, court is the only option. In cases where domestic violence, mental health issues and immaturity play a role, a judge may be the only option for getting a decision that provides safety, security and financial direction. For more information in regard to legal processes, please click on the following link.